Excerpts from a Custodial Diary

(This is just a sampling of actual events that have occurred as a Head Custodian.  There are many more.  The timeline is fictitious.)

Day One:  School started today.  Busy running around getting teachers and students settled in.

Day Three:  Graffiti found on bathroom stall.  I called security so they could take pictures and document the writing.  I then cleaned off the graffiti and ending up removing some of the stall paint in the process.

Day Ten:  Responded to a call about a plugged toilet.  Found an orange plugging the opening once I got through the mountain of toilet paper, seat covers, paper towels, and other unmentionables on top of that.  Disinfected the tongs, bucket and plunger and discarded ten pounds of debris twenty minutes later. 

Day Nineteen:  Received a call about a water leak in a classroom.  Upon arrival, I found the water fountain twisted sideways and the water line under the sink twisted and broken.  The students all looked wide-eyed and claimed innocence as the teacher attempted to discern the responsible party.  I shut off the water, cleaned up the leak on the carpet and put a note down on my maintenance list to replace the water line.

Day Twenty-Five:  Security called me.  A student had broken the glass on a fire extinguisher box.  An accident, it was claimed.  He was rough housing with another student and “brushed against it” and the whole thing just fell out.  He was shocked it was so fragile.  Security will bill him for it.

Day Thirty:  The radio crackled with a request to help a teacher who couldn’t get into her room.  Arriving, I found a piece of wood jammed in the lock.  The group of kids waiting to get into the room cheered in unison believing they would get out of class.  I produced my Leatherman and tweezers and working like a professional locksmith carefully removed the wood pieces.  Sadness filled the masses as they entered the classroom.  The teacher shut the door, her countenance anything but happy.

Day Thirty-Six:  Monday morning.  Someone had fun over the weekend attempting to repaint some of the school.  Beautiful colors of blue and red decorated the walls on the front of the building.  Dropping all other duties and responsibilities for the morning, I found the tan color originally used to paint the building and spent my morning in the sunshine painting over the damaged areas.  Fortunately I have lots of extra time every day to add in extra jobs like this.  (Ha)

Day Forty-Eight:  A teacher caught me in the hall and said there was some powder all over the back hallway.  Arriving, I found a fire extinguisher had been discharged.  A fine yellowish powder covered the floor and windowsills, doorknobs, drinking fountains and garbage cans in a radius of about 20 feet.  I retrieved my vacuum and tools and spent a half an hour cleaning up the mess.  I then took the extinguisher to my office to have maintenance recharge it.

Day Fifty-Nine:  The office called.  Someone had gotten sick in a bathroom.  Entering the room, the sour odor of vomit filled the air.  I opened the stall door to face the contents of someone’s lunch not just on the toilet, but also on the walls, floor, stall doors and toilet paper dispenser.  I guess people figure that’s what custodians are for although I would think that they’d be more responsible than that.  Locking the door, I hooked up a hose to the spigot under the sink and hosed the bathroom down following it with a thorough washing with disinfectant.  I left the door locked for the remainder of the day.

Day Seventy-One:  Thursday morning.  Someone threw a rock through a classroom window during the night.  The police were called and they took a report and examined the damage.  When they finished, I vacuumed up the glass and covered the window with a board until the window company could come and replace it.  I’m sure I’ll still find some pieces of glass over the next several weeks in cracks and crevices inside the classroom.

Day Eighty:  Someone used a drinking fountain as a chair.  Now it’s bent at a slight angle from the wall and the water dribbles over the edge when it is used.  I removed the cover and shut the water off.  A work order is on its way to maintenance for this repair.

Day One Hundred:  The wind is blowing hard.  Our lights have flickered several times.  I’m expecting the power to go out any………..